


Sandwiches and Feelings

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: The Social Network
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfic, Crack, Crack Pairing, Fix-It, Future Fic, Humor, M/M, Meta, Reconciliation, Romance, Sandwiches, Translation Available, 中文翻译 | Translation in Chinese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-22
Updated: 2011-09-22
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:57:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Mark loves sandwiches, Eduardo loves Mark and is jealous of his fondness for sandwiches. Also, there is no actual sex with or without sandwiches. This is a fix it with an overabundance of the word “sandwich”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sandwiches and Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zinkini](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=zinkini).



> Full title: Sandwiches and ~~Fillings~~ Feelings
> 
>  **Warning/kinks:** Cracky fantasies about sandwiches, trolling (blink and you’ll miss it just like a sparkling vampire y’know?), random meta, links in fic and ridiculousness. Fix it because sandwiches are powerful yo. I think I'm funny.  Also I think it would be funny if you were reading this while eating a sandwich but I do not recommend trying it at home ~~do it at work~~. 
> 
> Reposted with more links lol (none of them are mine). I blame [](http://zinkini.livejournal.com/profile)[**zinkini**](http://zinkini.livejournal.com/) for this. Although it could be [](http://elipie.livejournal.com/profile)**[](http://elipie.livejournal.com/profile)[**elipie**](http://elipie.livejournal.com/)** ’s [fall friending meme](http://jumpercut.livejournal.com/3053.html) or [](http://fledmusic.livejournal.com/profile)**[](http://fledmusic.livejournal.com/profile)[**fledmusic**](http://fledmusic.livejournal.com/)** ’s [fave gif](http://jumpercut.livejournal.com/3053.html?thread=94957#t94957)…or maybe, most probably it's just me ;) The link to the fanvid is not made by me but by **[](http://elipie.livejournal.com/profile)[**elipie**](http://elipie.livejournal.com/)** and is one of my fave TSN fanvids ever that I love to love.
> 
> There is a [Chinese translation](http://www.movietvslash.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=145896&extra=page%3D1%26filter%3Dtypeid%26typeid%3D23%26typeid%3D23) available (login needed) with thanks to [qpriuot](http://archiveofourown.org/users/qpriuot).

The way Mark is eating the foot long sandwich (which looks more and more like a dick by the minute) is really obscene.

Not that Eduardo really wants to think of dicks being eaten and chewed and swallowed because ugh no.

Mark's lip stretch around the thing and he's making appreciative noises.

"Do you have to-" Eduardo begins before he realizes he has not idea how to finish that sentence without sounding like a total creep that creeps on their best friend eating a sandwich that is way longer than a sandwich has any rights to be.

Mark's eyes are closed and he's smearing white stuff around his mouth and on his cheek. Mayonnaise, get a grip Eduardo, he thinks to himself.

Mark hums happily and Eduardo has to try not to jizz in his pants.

When Mark swallows, the pale column of his throat is exposed and Eduardo wants to lick and nibble all along there. He flushes when he realizes he's staring.

Eduardo forces himself to look away. He is not jealous of a fucking sandwich.

He's pretty sure his brain is broken because he's suddenly thinking about _fucking_ and _sandwich_ together like _fucking a sandwich_. And Mark. _Spit roasting_ he thinks it's called. Fuck. He's never going to graduate from Harvard at this rate.

***

5 years later (in a future!fic timeline without any girlfriends because they are gayyyy)

Eduardo wakes up and checks through the news in this order.  
1\. Weather  
2\. Stock markets and investments  
3\. Celebrities  
He's got his priorities straight. Because everyone looks at celebrities okay? It's not stalking if you love someone. [Everyone knows that.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StalkingIsLove) Edward Cullen would know that. It's totally normal.

Like it's totally normal to have a movie made about your life in college. Yep. So much secondhand embarrassment there.

Today though, Eduardo scrolls down in Gawker and he hates his life.

"Mark Zuckerberg eating a sandwich in Palo Alto" because seriously [who writes headlines like that](http://www.popsugar.com/Pictures-Andrew-Garfield-Eating-Ice-Cream-Malibu-18781462)?

The link promises 16+ pictures.

"Fuck my life," Eduardo says under his breath and clicks on the link.

If he saves it to his wank bank, it's between him and his iPhone.

***

2 weeks after (at a shareholder's meeting because no epic fic is complete without one)

Eduardo is standing awkwardly in one corner and trying not to think about how this is the stuff of fanfiction. He can see half of Dustin's fandom (he blames Dustin because it was Dustin who sent him the link dammit) cringing at the meta reference and the other half cheering for joy.

He does what he has to, smile and make the rounds. He's kind of downing a lot of champagne but whatever it's free and it's bubbly and it helps.

He should probably eat something though. He's going to go to grab some good when he notices that they're serving sandwich subs. (Sub = submissive, his minds adds unhelpfully). He's standing there glaring at the subs angrily with the full force of his very tough gaze when someone's hand claps on his back.

It's Sean.

"Oh hey Wardo, you should try one. They're really good," Sean says casually. "Promise you it's not going to get you fat."

Eduardo really wants to punch him in the face because he's the type of guy who finishes what he starts.

But then he catches Mark across the room. Mark is eating the stupid sandwiches, licking the sauce off his fingers and Eduardo's mouth goes dry. Yeah he's the type of guy who finishes what he starts. Fuck Sean. And fuck everyone on the internet who thinks that he would be good with Sean because no, [no fucking way](http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll3xqeP3IW1qzojrmo1_400.jpg). And ugh, that's too much fucks in a sentence with Sean in it.

"Excuse me," Eduardo says coolly and then he's walking towards Mark.

(He snags another glass of pink sparkling wine as he crosses the room and downs it like a champ.)

"Mark, we need to talk," Eduardo says in a low voice.

"Uh. Hi. I'm eating my sandwich," Mark says blandly.

 _Fuck the sandwich_ , Eduardo thinks and then he's thinking about fucking a sandwich, being fucked by a sandwich and fucking Mark with a sandwich and he really hates the way his brain malfunctions when he's around Mark. Because it's just his luck he's in love with Mark. Mark and his sandwiches. He wants to make sandwiches for Mark and open a sandwich shop [or something](http://moogle62.livejournal.com/115335.html). Whatever. He doesn't even know what he's thinking anymore because he's in love with Mark okay? He has been ever since he saw Mark with the sandwich in Harvard. No probably before that. The sandwich was just the moment he knew he wanted to fuck Mark. He was jealous of a sandwich - that was and is how much he loves Mark.

Until he realizes that he might have been drunk enough to say that out loud.

Oops.

So Mark's choking on his sandwich.

It would be funny if it wasn't potentially life-threatening and Mark's face is going red and he's wheezing and yeah okay so much for trying to keep it on the down low.

"Are you okay?" Eduardo asks wondering if he should rub Mark's back or something like calling an ambulance. That's probably excessive but he's a [billionaire](http://elipie.livejournal.com/105444.html) so-

"I'm fine," Mark splutters out and grabs the nearest drink to wash down his sandwich.

Even red-faced and hunched over, Eduardo thinks that Mark is the finest guy he's ever laid his eyes on. He doesn't think he's biased at all.

"I think I'm done with my sandwich for now," Mark says, putting the plate down with a wistful look on his face. He walks them both to the side where it's a bit more private and waits for people to go back to socializing while he swills the alcohol around in his glass. Eduardo is waiting patiently. Mark looks up at Eduardo, giving him all his attention. "I want to," Mark starts. "I mean I ordered the sandwiches once I knew you were coming. You always used to make me sandwiches and I- I've missed you. You used to make the best sandwiches. Also I am in with love you."

Eduardo grins.

Eduardo 1, Sandwich 3.

But Eduardo is okay with that. More than okay.


End file.
